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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982781">O, my lord, you said that idle weeds are fast in growth</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkEnthusiast/pseuds/SharkEnthusiast'>SharkEnthusiast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Absent John Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, Adam Milligan Lives, Adam Milligan is Not Forgotten, Adam Milligan is a Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Dean Winchester is Good With Children, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Doctor Adam Milligan, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Kid Adam Milligan, Michael Possessing Adam Milligan, POV Adam Milligan, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is So Done, Young Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester, children meaning adam, for a while, sorta - Freeform, this wasn't really meant to go this way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:41:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkEnthusiast/pseuds/SharkEnthusiast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s November, and Adam is 5 which means that Dean is 15 and angry at him for forgetting his coat.</p><p> </p><p>Where Adam grows up a Winchester, Dean raises 2 kids instead of just 1, and everything is half okay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam Milligan &amp; Dean Winchester, Adam Milligan &amp; Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Adam Milligan &amp; John Winchester, Adam Milligan &amp; Kate Milligan, Adam Milligan &amp; Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Michael &amp; Adam Milligan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>292</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>O, my lord, you said that idle weeds are fast in growth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"O, my lord, you said that idle weeds are fast in growth. The prince my brother hath outgrown me far."</p><p>-William Shakespeare</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s November, and Adam is 5, which means that Dean is 15 and angry at him for forgetting his coat. </p><p>Momma has been gone for a while now. She left him with Dad, who has 2 sons and a lot of guns and a shiny black car that smells like petrol and salt. Adam has forgotten the sound of her voice. No one really told him where she went. </p><p>“Jesus,” Dean says, one hand occupied by Adam’s and the other by Sam’s even though he’s 11 whole years old, which is 6 older than Adam right now, which is <em> a lot </em>. Dean kneels down on his knees, removes his flannel, and drapes it over Adam’s shoulders. “There. Any better?”</p><p>Adam nods. Dean is real tall now. He asked Miss Daisy last week if Dean could be his object for show and tell cause he’s 15 and has cool spiky hair, but Miss Daisy had just laughed and said that he can’t show and tell a <em> person, </em>silly. </p><p>“Dean,” Sam hisses. They’re approaching the school now, and Sam is turning all red ‘cause Dean is still holding his hand. “Let <em> go.” </em> </p><p>Dean is laughing, but he does anyway. Sam scowls as he ruffles his hair, and then turns away to join his friends. </p><p>“Sammy!” Dean calls, and Sam stops but doesn’t turn around. “It’ll be late. It’s parent-teacher night for Adam.” </p><p>“Why can’t Dad go?” Sam is always talking about that, and Dean’s always defending Dad, and Adam is always confused. He didn’t have a Dad until Momma went away, and he thinks that Dean is probably right that at least they have someone at all. </p><p>Dean does that angry thing where he breathes out through his nose all hard. </p><p>“Sam,” He says. </p><p>“You never go to my parent-teacher nights,” Sam says, and Adam’s cold again 'cause Dean let go of his hand. </p><p>“He’s 5,” Dean says quietly. “There’s leftover mac n’ cheese in the fridge.”</p><p>Sam keeps walking, and Dean picks Adam up, resting him on his hip. </p><p>“Is Sammy mad at me?” He asks, cause Sam usually is. </p><p>Dean shakes his head. Grins. Tickles Adam’s tummy which makes him giggle. </p><p>“Nah, Adam.” </p><p>“Just mad?”</p><p>“Yeah, kiddo. Just mad.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Adam has been waiting for this moment ever since Sam got his Stanford acceptance letter in March. Has been waiting for the door to slam. </p><p>The only reason why Adam knows at all is that ever since Dean graduated 4 years ago, it’s been SamAdam instead of DeanSamAdam more often than not. Because Dean is all grown up now, and because hunting monsters occupies most of his time. </p><p>Sam says he’s leaving, and both Dad and Dean yell until they’re hoarse. When he does finally go, bags packed and everything, Dad and Dean turn on each other instead. Everything feels like some horror movie ‘cause Adam’s only 11, after all, and Dean is 22, screaming his head off, and Sam is 18, gone, and Adam is young and worried for both of them, and he feels like he’s being twisted around and yanked in 18 separate directions. </p><p>Dean shuts up after he sees the look on Adam’s face, barefoot and standing on the threshold between the kitchen and the living room. Runs to him like Adam is a little kid who needs to be comforted and coddled and picked up. Dad still isn’t done.</p><p>“God, Dean, I told you to stop spoiling him!”</p><p>Dean spins back around. </p><p>“HE’S FUCKING 11.” Dean's finger is pressed against Dad’s chest, accusing, angry, protective. </p><p>Adam doesn’t know what his age has to do with anything. He cooks dinner for Sam most nights when Dean is away, and all his teachers tell him he’s got an “old soul”, whatever that means. He’s had 3 girlfriends for the past 3 towns they’ve been in, and when Adam stitches someone up, Dean always lets him have a sip of whiskey to keep his hands steady. </p><p>And then Dad punches Dean in the face, and then Dean is on the floor, and then the cacophony of yelling has suddenly gone very, very quiet. </p><p>Dean picks up his head like it weighs 59 pounds, and when he makes eye contact with Adam, blood is spilling from his nose, and when he stands, he stumbles, and he does not look 22. Looks like some scared kid, not angry anymore. </p><p>“Adam,” he calls, and his voice is gravelly. “Wait outside.”</p><p>Adam does. </p><p>When he emerges, he’s got a duffle bag slung over his shoulder, nose still bloody. </p><p>“We’re going away for a bit, kiddo,” he says, and Adam only nods. </p><p>Kiddo.</p><p>They take the car and drive, and Adam loves Dean. Tells him that, 'cause it’s too quiet, and Adam gets to sit in the front seat, and Dean blares Bon Jovi, ‘cause it’s that kind of occasion. </p><p>They are only gone for a week. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>He’s 16, and Dean is 26, and they go to pick up Sam. He looks good, all Mr. Joe College. His hair is grown out into the shaggy phase that his girl seems to like, and when Dean sends a sleazy smile her way, Sam reprimands him and says “not in front of Adam”. </p><p>Which is bullshit. He’s been 16 for a month, not some infant who can’t deal with a little older brother debauchery. He lost his V card somewhere in between Nebraska and Ohio, and he’s smoked weed kind of a lot. When they went back to Windom to visit Momma’s grave and take care of the ghoul problem, Adam ran with a couple of douchebags who were real into getting blackout drunk, and so Adam’s done that too.  </p><p>He’s spent a lot of time doing nothing, so he finds things to fill it. At least he doesn’t get into fights like Dean did. </p><p>Dad is missing, and the only one who seems to care is Dean. </p><p>Jericho is a sleepy town. When Sam and Dean go into a coffee shop to question the dead guy’s girl, Adam stays in the car, just like always. Fiddles with Dean’s tapes, snoops through Sam’s duffle, piles into the driver's seat, puts his hand on the wheel, and pretends that this car is his after all. </p><p>He should be in school. Dean forged a letter from Dad about a death in the family, so he’s had the last 3 weeks off. He’s kinda sad about it. He’s not a geek like Sam or whatever, but he did like his science teacher, and he missed out on basketball tryouts. </p><p>Whatever. No rest for the monster hunters of the world and their kid brothers. </p><p>It’s a woman in white, and Dad has skipped town, and Adam waits in the car. When Sam and Dean emerge again, they’re laughing, just like before, and Adam’s family is together again. On the drive back, Sam looks at the coordinates on a map, and Dean stops at a 24-hour gas station and lets Adam get black pepper jack Doritos instead of cool ranch even though cool ranch is his favorite. Sam gets Reese's Swoops even though everyone in the world thinks they’re gross but him, and he plays his Wilco tape and Dean complains through every single song. </p><p>Adam’s family is together again. </p><p>And then Jess burns and the stupid, needy, clingy part of Adam is almost half grateful for it if it keeps them like that. </p><p> </p><p>Adam is 18 years old and Dean. </p><p>Dean is dead. </p><p>Adam can tell, cause his eyes are open, and his chest is this mess of red, and Sam is sobbing over his body. </p><p>Lilith is gone, too. Maybe. Hopefully. </p><p>Adam helps Sam carry Dean’s body and stuff it into the trunk and Adam’s eyes are weirdly dry. Dean is dead. They should’ve known they couldn’t do anything to stop it. </p><p>They bury him near Pontiac ‘cause that’s where Sam is gonna stay. ‘Cause Dean fucking hated Pontiac for some reason and Adam thinks that maybe if they piss off Dean’s memory enough, he’ll get mad enough to rise from the fucking grave. </p><p>He doesn’t. Even though he gets buried in the middle of nowhere, and even though they put a little cross to mark the grave, and even though they don't even bother to burn him. He doesn’t come back. Not even to haunt them. </p><p>Sam goes off the rails, gets drunker than Dad ever did, and so Adam decides he’s going to medical school in Indiana. He runs credit card scams and hustles pool even better than Sam, and manages to pay for it, manages to get settled into an apartment with a couple of other people he met at a party. It’s a little weird, cause it’s a guy named Henry and 2 other girls, Louise and Cathy, but they’re good. Nice. When Adam isn’t working or studying or having a legitimate mental breakdown, they make dinner together. Talk. It’s frighteningly normal, and half of Adam feels repulsed. </p><p>“So,” Louise asks him, stirring the sauce for the pasta in a pot over the stove. “You’re a fucking mystery man, you know that?” </p><p>“What do you mean?” He asks, pulling open the fridge door and getting bell pepper to cut up and add to the salad. </p><p>“You’re just all like,” Louise lowers her voice. Smirks. Adam retrieves a knife and begins to core the pepper. “Hey, I’m Adam Milligan. I was born in Windom Minnesota, but I moved around a lot.” </p><p>Adam swats her hand away when she reaches for a piece of pepper. </p><p>“It’s true!” He says, exasperated. Swats her hand away again. “I literally have a knife in my hand, Louise.” </p><p>“What, like you’re gonna stab me? Sure. But really. Tell me something.”</p><p>“Like what?” </p><p>Everything is a game with Louise, especially when it’s about Adam. Dean would probably laugh at him, tell him to go have sex with her, cause it’s obvious that she’s into him or whatever. </p><p>“Something good.” </p><p>Adam isn’t sure there’s anything good about his life before this. Just guns and ghosts and salt. Stitches, whiskey for steady hands, blood slick on upholstery. Flannels draped around shoulders, cold weather, and runny noses, a warm hand in his. Just Sam, understanding and a little bit annoyed, a little jealous, face wet with tears, shirt soaked in <em> his </em> blood, holding onto Adam like he’ll die if he lets go. </p><p>Just Dean. </p><p>Dead. </p><p>“I saw my brother get murdered 2 months ago,” He says, and he doesn’t know why. Louise's sharp mouth gets less sharp, and her forehead wrinkles and her hand is paused over the pile of pepper slices. </p><p>“Jesus, Adam. I’m so sorry for asking.” </p><p>“No. That was on me. Sorry, don’t know why I said that.”</p><p>“Do you want to talk?”</p><p>He sort of does, sort of doesn’t. </p><p>“Not really.” </p><p>Louise turns back to the pasta sauce, and Adam goes back to cutting the pepper, and that's the end of it. </p><p>Adam doesn't talk about it again, except when he springs up from nightmares with Dean’s name on his tongue, except when Adam leaves voicemails for Sam each week even though he rarely picks up, except when he takes 3 a.m. drives out to Pontiac to go stand in front of a rotting corpse and talk to it. </p><p>Louise sometimes eyes him all concerned, and Adam always scoffs right back. Dean is dead. He doesn’t need to be protected anymore. He studies and takes his exams and does dissections and studies diagrams and writes essays and. He is still dead, and his other brother might as well be, and so is Dad and Mary and Momma and Jess and Ash. </p><p>Dead, and Adam can’t bring them back. </p><p> </p><p>Dean returns for Adam’s 19th birthday and Adam thinks he’s dreaming, and then he thinks it’s real, and then he almost stabs him in between his 7th and 8th rib. </p><p>Dean hugs him tight, long. Sam is behind him, and so Adam hugs him, too. </p><p>Dean’s grin is a mile wide, and all Adam can do is try not to cry. </p><p>Dean. </p><p>Not dead. </p><p>“I saw you die,” Adam says quietly, and Dean’s face falls into one of remorse. </p><p>Dean's arms are around him again. Not dead. Alive, living, breathing, heart pumping. </p><p>“I know,” Dean says. “But I’m back now, kiddo.”</p><p> </p><p>19. </p><p>Dean’s face is the last Adam sees before the doors slam closed. </p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Michael consumes him. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Note about the age difference: Dean is 11 years older than Adam, and Sam is 7. However, some of these snapshots took place in the time frame where it's only 10 and then 6, so if that was weird, sorry. </p><p>Thank you so much for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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